This post is about the cultural assumption that hypocrisy is not OK.
Alan Watts talked of the influence of culture on how we see the world.
In the West (where I’m from), common assumptions include:
Most of these assumptions are taken for granted - we are not aware we are making them. They are like water to a fish or oxygen to us - we bathe in them everyday.
Where do these assumptions come from? These assumptions arise from two places – biology and culture.
Biological assumptions are general – they apply to all human societies, and originate from natural selection.
They improve the probability of success at the game of evolution, and apply to our entire species.
Biological assumptions include:
Cultural assumptions are specific, arising from specific experiences by groups of people.
Lessons learnt by earlier generations are passed on through stories, formal education, institutions and their objectives, and mimicked behaviour.
Cultural assumptions include:
Alan Watts recommends that by living in another culture you can better see what assumptions you take for granted.
I’ve found this to be true - larger differences in culture lead to more insight into your own cultural assumptions.
Let’s now turn to the focus of this essay - the cultural assumption that hypocrisy is unacceptable.
The hypocrisy assumption is that:
Hypocrisy acts like reductio ad absurdum (RAA) - any sign of hypocrisy kills an entire argument.
The problem with this assumption (that hypocrisy is unacceptable) is human beings show a fantastic potential for hypocrisy. So often, we say one thing and do another. Not necessarily in everything, but in some things.
We look at ourselves as different and hold ourselves to different standards that others.
We condemn most in others what we fear in ourselves
Robert Prsig
Perhaps the most extreme examples of hypocrisy come from religious communities:
There are undoubtedly other examples in every society throughout the ages. This is a human problem - every person battles with hypocrisy.
In a beautiful, paradoxical way, the most hypocritical thing a person could do is to believe that they are not hypocritical.
My proposal is to accept, own and work on our hypocrisy. There should be no shame in being hypocritical.
Accepting this has made my life better.
It makes changes dealing with the inconsistency of others from a reason to attack, to a reason to feel compassion. I can see in them the failure and confusion that has plagued many other people.
Hypocrisy aligns well with no-self. How can you be consistent if there are so many versions of your self - they are bound to contradict each other in some dimension.
Let’s imagine you grow up unloved by a parent. As a child, you swear to not repeat these mistakes. Yet as an adult, you do.
Take this example and narrow down the time to a day. One partner scolds another for having sugar in their tea - only to spend the morning eating a stash of Tobelrone.
No matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong road, turn back
Turkish Proverb
You may not agree with the above - so be it. Enjoy the next time you punish yourself and others when you catch them being hypocritical.
However one specific form a hypocrisy that without a doubt is changing your mind based on changing conditions.
If we have experiences that lead to a logically consistent conclusion in opposition, then it is actually optimal to change your mind.
Hypocrisy is usually a bad thing - and showing your opponent is inconsistent (using a tool such as RAA) is a valid way to disprove their claim.
What, however, is not OK is crucifying others for being hypocritical. This is a human fault we all share.
All of us need to be liberated from our culture to a certain extent, because education is a kind of necessary evil. And when the process of education—or acculturation—has been completed, we need a cure for it. Education is like salting meat in order to preserve it for eating. But when you’re ready to cook it and eat it, you need to soak some of the salt out. So in the process of being brought up by one’s parents and one’s teachers you are in one way spoiled—although, in another way, made tolerable to live with. And so in our culture it’s increasingly fashionable to have psychoanalysis when you’re finished with education, so as to work out and resolve all the damage and traumatic shocks that were done to you in the process.
Seeing Through the Net - Alan Watts
You don’t understand the basic assumptions of your own culture if your own culture is the only culture you know.” Everybody operates on certain basic assumptions, but very few people know what they are.